Wednesday, December 22, 2010

How Do You Eat an Elephant? One Bite at a Time....

That's what I have been doing, each day, one bite at a time. That usually means making sure everyone has food, clean clothing, medicine, and is prepared for school. We have also tried to fold in some seasonal fun, such as putting up the tree and finalizing holiday shopping. But really, it has been a survival mode, and I am amazed at how tiring the jet lag really was. It is just now that I am starting to feel that I do not need to go to bed as soon as the girls go to bed at 8pm, which is what I have been doing since we got home.

Everyone is doing just great. We each have had some emotional ups and downs, but overall, we have settled into our routines with ease and positive attitudes. Shanna is an easy child to love and she tells everyone who speaks to her in Mandarin, that she loves each one of us. She has had a few occasions of tears, but it is mostly around wanting to do things her way, in her own time, or a barrier because of frustration and language limitations. She enjoys everything we do, whether it is shopping or cooking or playing, and she really enjoys helping, especially with washing dishes or vegetables. The girls are constantly playing together and are so cute to watch. Shanna's language improves every day and she says many things in a sing-song voice. "Goooood Mornnning, Mamma"! With her brilliant smile.

This is just after we got home, Jasmine and Shanna snuggling. Shanna calls her "Jot-meow"!
For several days, Shanna was going around saying "me louw shoe" over and over. We had no idea what that meant until the gerbils came home from the friends who were watching them. Then she ran happily over to them and said "Me louw shoe!!!!!" with a big smile on her face. Matthew looked it up on the internet and found that "louw shoe" means Little mouse and "me louw shoe" means "Mickey Mouse"! So funny.
Some friends came over with a special pink princess laptop for Shanna and the girls enjoyed back-to-back computing, just like Eric & me in China.

We have had lots of snow, and many opportunities for outdoor fun.

We have gone on lots of doctor appointments. This is the first visit to the dentist. Unfortunately, not the last, but of course, I knew that. She was very cooperative.

Also, she was so great during her blood test. She just stuck out her arm while they took about 8-10 vials of blood and never complained once. This was all routine testing to see what vaccines she needs and turns out she does not need too much else. Results show that she is very healthy and well.
Mary Alice was in the Spelling Bee this past week, and did great, getting into the final elimination round. Matthew had a holiday orchestra concert, which we always enjoy. We had trouble deciding who to take, thinking Mary Alice could stay with Megan and Shanna would go with us, only to have an enormous protest from Megan, so ultimately we all went, and then both girls fell asleep in the first five minutes. Matthew's group played last, and although it was a lovely concert, we were very tired!!
We had yet another adoption in the family. Megan had a Bitty Baby that Shanna had taken a deep liking to, and I mentioned this to my dear friend, Michele, who mentioned it to her dear daughter, who so generously offered to allow Shanna to adopt her Bitty! She was delivered with a very easy paperwork process,  the next day! Along with clothes, a front pack carrier, a tricycle and a bunk bed!!! Wow! We are so grateful and the girls love their babies. There was even one night where Shanna slept strapped in with Bitty.......
The cats have handled the changes with unruffled fur.
Shanna is really good with her chopsticks. I am thinking that I will need to send them to school with her!! She is broadening out her tastes little by little. She enjoys a good Sunbutter and jelly sandwich, and has sampled raw carrots and mozzerella cheese sticks, and even has had a few glasses of milk, with chocolate, all of which are staples in our house.
Megan is a little more clingy than usual, but overall, has been such a good little sister. She shares with Shanna and helps her all the time.
Shanna is so gentle with "Xiao mao" (She-ow and mao both rhyme with cow and means little cat)
Shanna loves to do puzzles and she is quite good at them. She concentrates a long time and does not get frustrated. This one was 5 feet long. She did it without help.
More snow fun. Those cute little bee mittens were a gift from her nanny, in her backpack. They are perfect for car rides and school.
We had so much snow, so the girls have played outside.  It takes 15 mins to get on and 15 mins to get off........They did play quite a while though. I had to call them to come in!

I don't know if you can see the debris in the background, but I am living with it for now, as there are so many more important things to attend to, like the sweet girl in front of the debris!
We had two successful visits to school, so far, once to Megan's classroom and again to meet with all the school staff that will determine her placement. They had a Mandarin interpreter talk with Shanna, and look at her photo album from Shantou. This really helped break the ice and she chattered happily with her. The school has a wonderful ESL teacher who is going to help Shanna learn English, and be her primary teacher of Reading and Writing. After they get to know her a little while they will assess her for any other services she may need. We have decided to try her in 2nd grade and see how she does. Shanna is SO excited to go to school and has asked me every day, many times, if "Shanna School???" She will start after vacation.

So, one bite at a time, the Elephant is being eaten. It is a big one, and Yes, the basement is still torn up and, Yes, I just moved everything upstairs to the craft room to make room for the tree. No, I haven't yet opened any gifts received in the mail-waiting for a moment where we can give them the attention they deserve. Yes, I finally opened the accumulated mail (only two days ago) and No, I don't have a Holiday Card yet. Maybe by Chinese New Year!

I am so thankful the many, many kindnesses and gifts that people have shared. I will personally thank you as soon as I am able, but for now, the group of you, my dear friends and supporters, please again accept my deepest thanks for all that has been given to us. We are so blessed by the miracle of friendship and family, and adoption. And now, I must go feed my family!!!

Monday, December 13, 2010

A Bumpy Re-entry

We have now been home a little over 24 hours. It was great to see familiar faces of friends and family greeting us at the airport. Shanna loved them all and simply was radiant, smiling on everyone, even people we didn't know, but then, how would she know that?

When we pulled in the driveway, she said "OOOHHHH" in recognition and pointed out her and Megan's window and Mary Alice's. She knew the outside of house from the pictures I sent. She explored everything in detail and was particularly interested in the cats, and squealed with delight at their purring attention. We tried to get them showered and in bed quickly, which ended up to be about 10:30pm. Shanna was coughing quite a bit and at 12:30am I got up to help her. The cat jumped in bed with us and this sent her into squeals of laughter, which went on until I knew it would wake Megan, which of course it did, despite my shushing. Since Matthew was still up, as he couldn't sleep, he came in to see what was going on. He tried taking Shanna downstairs to play for a while but eventually all four of us ended up downstairs for a snack. At 3:30 am I put everyone back to bed and we slept until 10:30.

Although Shanna did not sneeze anything out of her nose in customs this trip (if you don't know this story, you can see this link from last trip), one bump was when Shanna fell down the escalator in Newark!! Somehow, everyone went ahead of me (in our rush to get to customs after the long flight (12.5 hours for those who wonder) and I was with the two girls. I held something in one hand and Shanna's hand in the other and Megan ran up to catch my hand with something in it. I fumbled, she hesitated, Shanna stepped on, and I followed, and Megan didn't. So somehow Shanna tumbled backwards (we were going up). I tried to catch her, while the escalator was rising, and she fell down more stairs. I have no idea how I righted her, but somehow I got her on her feet, and she was very shaken and crying. She had a small scrape on her ankle, but otherwise was okay physically. Emotionally, it took her a while to regain her confidence. Megan was stunned to see me disappear up the escalator, but there was nothing I could do but call for her and hope someone helped her on. Some nice man picked her up and carried her up to me. There were lots of people on the escalator as it was very crowded with everyone coming off the big plane, but everyone seemed frozen to their spot watching it unfold. That was very terrible but luckily wasn't worse.

Another bump was when we got home and discovered that our sump pump did not work and our basement flooded, soaking our rug and the various toys and shelves scattered about. Most things were in plastic bins and were spared, but some weren't. Eric spent today ripping up the carpet and trying to clean up the water. It is stinky and yucky and totally disruptive.  We have laundry and luggage everywhere, and now toys that had a home are spread around in places I don't really want them. I did get out the gates again to contain curious children (we are now calling them the Squirrel Girls) and am thankful that I did not give them away earlier (the gates, not the Squirrels). :)

Our neighbors and close friends gave a small party for our friends and family to meet Shanna tonight and that was very fun and relaxing. Again, Shanna really enjoyed meeting everyone and sharing her smile.

We have her doctor appointment tomorrow, thank goodness, as I listen to her horrible coughing, and hopefully we will figure out how to help her feel better quickly.

Someone commented on my post about Oggi's and how it sounded like I was doing a commercial for them. Well, I kind of was!!! Many adoptive families are reading this blog and I described it in such detail so those traveling after us to Guangzhou could have an idea of where to go. There are a few other families with children with food allergy and this kind of sharing is so helpful to all of us. So "Go Oggi's!!"

Here are a few photos from the trip home.

Waiting to board in Beijing

Always laughing together.
Very blurry photo taken with my phone (not what the rest of the photos were taken with) and disappointing, before the big flight but kind of how we felt anyway, so okay. We had to recheck our check luggage (7 pieces) 3x, once in Guangzhou, again in Beijing, and again in Newark (after coming through customs). Very big pain with 5 carry ons and 4 backpacks. We were constantly counting everything. Including children.
Here is a video of the first few minutes of Shanna exploring the room. She did this all through the bathroom, kitchen, family room. You will get the idea....

And another short one.

Happy to be home.
The cake from our party. Thank you!!!!
and just because the story isn't honest unless I tell it all, just before we went to the party, Shanna gave Megan a little nip on the hand, probably because Megan was "helping" her in some way. Megan was very calm about it and told Daddy in a matter of fact, but not really blaming way. Because of the previous problem I had with the standoff promoted by my forcing an apology, I took a different tack and said (with signs) "Oh Shanna, Mommy is so sad that you bit Megan. You hurt her." and then I hugged Shanna while saying "Sorry, Megan, Shanna is sorry". And indeed she was, as her immediate tears attested. There was no pout or struggle though. After an appropriate hugging time, I just told her not to do that again and to get ready to go to the party. Tomorrow I will remind her to use her words.
Do I look tired or what??? Goodness.
The basement before we left.
And now.....

I can't add the smell, but I assure you, it's bad. And while I was taking these photos, my cat laid on my keyboard and opened about a hundred Google Help windows. I wonder what she was looking for??
 Once again, I am the last one up. I doubt I will be able to sleep at all for worrying about Shanna coughing. I am pretty sure she is doing it in her sleep. I taught her how to call for me, by telling her to say "MOM-MMY" while I stand in various places in and out of the room and downstairs, then coming when she calls. I learned that from having Megan that the kids cared for in orphanages never call because they don't know they can, so they suffer in silence and I had found Megan crying silently a few times in her bed before I realized what was happening. I am not sure, but last night, when I went to check on Shanna because she was coughing, I think she might have been crying. Her face was a little wet. She might have been sweaty, but she did not smile when she looked at me, and her eyes were open. She was quiet and subdued (this was right before the gails of giggled that erupted when Jasmine jumped on the bed with us) but still I thought it would be best to teach her that I will come if she calls me, and she seemed happy to practice this skill.

Turns out I am not the last one up, as Mary Alice is too. I wonder how long before we get back to a normal sleep schedule. I am going to flip the laundry and try and sleep. Okay, now Shanna, Megan, Eric, Mary Alice and me are all up (at 1:11am.) I just spent 15 minutes giving Shanna a nebulizer treatment because her coughing was so bad. I could hear that same kind of cough as when Matthew and Mary Alice were little and were having trouble breathing. This seemed to help her a lot, as she is not coughing now. She DID NOT want it and tried to push it away, but finally, we distracted her with a book (thank goodness Eric helped) and she finished it. She really likes this Nursery Rhyme book we have and she enjoys singing along with it. Now I wonder how long it will be before I sleep tonight......

People are constantly expressing amazement about this blog and asking how I do this? No matter how tired I am, I make the time, because I think it is important. Why?

1. It helps me process all the events, like a journal.
2. I love to go back and read it- It helps me remember all the fine detail I would otherwise forget.
3. I love to share it with others.  And I love hearing they enjoy it.
4. The kids love to look at it now, and in the future I can share it with the girls so they remember.
5. It's just fun.

and yes, I back it up!

Linda, who despite all the challenges, is ever so thankful for her family.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Home!!!
Linda

Friday, December 10, 2010

Last Post from China, part 2

Well, I am getting closer to home time, as I did not sleep much at all last night. I finished packing at 10:30, read a little bit, and for the first time in China had a difficult time falling asleep. Fall asleep, though, I did. Only to be awakened at 12:30AM by a very large thud and crying, heard right through those trusty earplugs!! Shanna had fallen right out of bed! The room was so dark and the space between the beds so small, that it took me a few beats to find the light and figure out what happened! She was still half asleep, but when we got her back on the bed she pointed to Megan (who was half asleep herself and no way involved). We shushed everyone and they quickly fell back asleep. Eric and I did not, and slept very lightly until our 4:15am wake up call. We are all dressed now, at 5am and ready to finish packing and go to breakfast. It is a good thing that she did not fall out of bed on the first day, or I would not have gotten a wink of sleep this whole trip as I was constantly checking the bed to be sure she was not on the edge!

Linda, who will be glad to sleep on the plane.

Last Post From China

I can hardly believe it. The final 10 hours before we leave for the airport. I will be amazed if everything makes its way back into the suitcases. If only things would pack themselves. Here is a list of the things I am so glad I brought to China:

  • Eric, Marion & the kids. It was wonderful to have each one of them with us, and even though it was hard at times, having the whole family together was such a blessing and worth every penny.
  • The food. I brought granola bars, Nutrigrain Bars (for Matthew), Sunbutter, Oatmeal packs, Smarties, candy canes, Poptarts and tuna packets. I wish I had brought 2 boxes of Nutrigrains for Matthew and another box of oatmeal. We could have used it.
  • Paper plates, bowls, plastic forks and spoons. I wish I had thought to bring some napkins. We went through tons of tissues during our snacks and meals.
  • Small water bottles for the little girls to carry. It was just enough for the daily outings and to use with meals. They both drank lots of water.
  • Playdoh. This was a huge hit (as you can see from the photos below).
  • Two half empty packs of wipes. One for the backpack and one for the room.
  • Two laptops. I worried about carrying both, but it wasn't a problem and was a necessity!
  • A power strip. I know I could get this from the hotel, but it was just so easy to have my own.
  • 3 cameras. It was great to get the photos from everyone's perspective.
  • Anti-biotics. Both trips we used at least three of the five z-packs we brought.
  • Band-aids. Good for soothing tender boo boos, even if you can't see them.
  • Nail polish. Good for sister bonding and nurturing. Plus, lots of compliments from other people.
  • Earplugs. Highly recommended for ultimate deep sleep, especially on the plane and sharing rooms.
  • Patience and a sense of humor. These were both very essential throughout the trip and if I had left them behind, who knows what would have happened.
This is a video from yesterday, when the girls were playing with the bubbles.



Here are some photos from Playdoh playtime.
Modeling the jewelry!
Gramma, what's this????
Rudolph, is that you?? 
This is the upside down 1000 piece puzzle.
This was something I was surprised to see.
We had to get a picture here. We ate at Oggi's everyday. They had great Italian food. If you are traveling to Guangzhou, and stay at the Garden, it is easily walkable. 
We ate at the one in the Yuexiu District @ 1 Tianlun Garden, Jianshe 4 Road. They also have take out and delivery.

This is the bathroom in the health club on the 4th floor. It is so beautiful like this all over the hotel.
Megan makes friends everywhere. This is on the playground, also on the 4th floor, behind the pool.
This is our daily dinner routine. Typically, our breakfast was the buffet around 9am, our main meal was at  Oggi's around 2pm and a light dinner for the girls in the room each night. Eric got the big kids and him and Marion fast food each night. That has not been the healthiest diet, so we are looking forward to eating some normal, non-fried foods!
And this is our Brown Envelope. It contains the immigration info for Shanna to enter the US when we land in Newark. We are supposed to hand it to the customs/immigration officer when we arrive. Grace told us that one family opened it and had to RETURN TO GUANGZHOU to have it resealed!!!!!
We will NOT open it.
I was a little nervous about the next step being hard on Shanna, but she seems very eager to get on with it. We have been using lots of sign language with her and after I had the girls in bed, when I explained what would happen the next day (wake up early, get dressed, eat and go on the airplane) she signed along with me and said "Fei gee" which means airplane. Then I told her that we would go to our house. I said would you come to my house to live with me? And she nodded and said "Thank You!!" which made me laugh and made me think she really understands. She loves that photo album of us and she looks at it all the time. Wait until she sees her home for real. That will be another photographic moment.

Well, I cannot delay the packing any longer. We will see you on the other side of the North Pole. Again, anyone in our hometown area is welcome to join us at the airport. We will be arriving at 8:30PM Saturday 12/11 on Continental/Colgan from Newark.

Linda, who is very glad to be on the way home!!

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Chanukah, O Chanukah, Come Light the Menorah.

Mary Alice made this travel menorah, featured in Family Fun magazine, so we would not miss out on lighting our Chanukah candles while in China. Shanna and Megan have really enjoyed singing the blessing and putting the toothpicks into the cardboard. It is corrugated on top, so the toothpicks stick right in. The flames are made of two color tissue paper and the blue paint is metallic. It's a great idea. Since we are an interfaith family, we also celebrate Christmas and are looking forward to putting up our tree with Shanna. Last night was the last night of Chanukah, so the menorah was fully "lit". Somehow, we managed not to loose any in this messy hotel room! We did not go into the detail of the Chanukah story, just enjoyed the fun..... save that for next year. :)
This morning the regular dining room was full again, so back up to the 30th floor we went. This time we were "upgraded" to our own dining room, which we found very comfortable!
Here is the view from further back.
This is the entrance to the Guangzhou Zoo. These are the Five Goats of the Asian Games. They are each made out of silk flowers and are really pretty up close. 

Map of the Park.
Gramma Marion says that these flamingos need to eat more carrots so they will be pink. I think she should tell the zookeepers. :)
I can't believe they let these animals roam free throughout the zoo!

Matthew photographed this interesting flower.
Shanna really liked the elephants. Their enclosure is really spacious and nice. They have another pair that was in a grassy plain area behind the house and I am sure they switch them around.
This is a bamboo forest area.
Near the two cute pandas.
More cute pandas. Megan is still trying out different poses.
We learned that Shanna loves mushrooms, to eat and to draw.
This was a popular posing spot.
We did all combinations of siblings.
And then there was the Kangaroo pouch to sit inside.
And Gramma had to try it.
This kangaroo seemed a little bored.
Giraffes having lunch. Two babies. Very cute.
I would think his arms would fall asleep like that!
The Zebra family (mom, two babies, dad) taken by Matthew.
The Zebra family taken by Mary Alice.
There were hundreds of different kinds of birds at this zoo.
And at least five cats,
And an adorable rat, who was swimming along a bank and pulled himself up by these plants and scurried along his way.
Shanna holding Rong Rong's hand and our guide Grace in the background. I don't think I have said much about our guides before, so I will take a minute to tell you how Wonderful they both have been. We had Joanna help us the first 4 days with the adoption registry paperwork and then Grace took over last week for all the tours and the rest of the paperwork. They have both been very valuable to us in so many ways, especially talking to the children and figuring out what they like and need. Shanna is talking to her all of the time, now, in Mandarin and Grace says she knows many things and asks many questions. She seems to warm up quickly to people, although she can be shy at first.
I just love these poses. How did she learn so many?
Here is a sweet picture of Rong Rong. She really likes to walk by herself and she loves monkeys.
This one speaks for itself.
I am sure you are all wondering if the tooth fairy visited China and the answer is YES. Shanna received four shiny Yuan coins under her pillow this morning and her eyes glowed with happiness. We spent some time kicking around Megan's soccer ball outside on the 4th floor near the pool/fitness area, where they have a very nice deck area. We also used a battery operated bubble machine that Gramma bought Shanna at the zoo. We did not realize it made gun noises, and had to "modify" it with tape to be softer sounding. Shanna loves it and is running around saying "pow" to everyone. The 1000 piece puzzle that we bought yesterday was finished by the evening (yesterday) apparently much by Matthew. Today they are re-doing it, upside down. Yes, it has been a long trip.

Tomorrow will be our last full day in China. We do not have any tour plans so we will sleep in, go to the buffet, then tidy up the rooms. We will receive Shanna's passport at 12:15 from our guide. After that I think we will head to Subway and walk to a nearby park for a picnic lunch. I hope the day doesn't drag.

The weather has been absolutely amazing, although in the mornings it is a little chilly and we are glad to have sweatshirts. I actually needed two layers over my t-shirt today.

Today I am typing this at 6pm China time, so I actually have a chance to relax before bed. I am not going to be available to Skype with anyone tomorrow night as we will need to get to bed early in order to wake up in time for our ride to the airport. We have to be downstairs when the buffet opens at 6:30am and then in the lobby ready to leave by 6:45. Grace is worried that we will be late because we always have someone in the bathroom at the last minute. I will have to be up by 4:30 to get everything and everyone ready on time. Don't worry, Mom, we have an alarm clock AND I will request a wake up call!! I will NOT miss that flight. We are watching several families leave today (their consulate appointments were a day or two earlier than ours) and it makes us really want to come home. It has been a wonderful trip, but we are ready to come back home.