Well, yesterday I posted about the effects of the Big Change on Megan. And I prayed for patience as she tests me on all kinds of issues. Well, there was a BIG test today. I was getting her ready to play at my neighbor's, and combing her hair into a pony, as usual, when I discovered a significant portion of her bangs were gone. Yes, I said GONE. As in NOT THERE!! Huh. Oh, I thought, she cut them herself. Again. Right to the scalp. Well, okay, about 3/4" left. Huh. She had done that one year ago and they were STILL growing out. Almost, but not quite fitting behind her ear. Now they are gone again.
All of these thoughts happened in a flash of a few seconds, meanwhile the anger and sadness welled up inside me. I knew that my reaction would be important and that Megan would detach from her feelings of shame if I got angry and hollered. She knew I was not happy. I took her by the hand and led her to the bed and told her to sit, that I was very upset and I needed a time out for myself before I could talk to her. I went in the other room and quietly, but passionately, let my feelings out to the other kids. After I pulled myself back together, I went back to her. By then my anger had been replaced by sadness and disappointment. She knew. She said a hundred times she was sorry. I was sorry, too. Sorry that with all my things to do that she had the time and means to accomplish that task of cutting her bangs. Sorry that her little heart is confused and trying to establish a sense of control. Sorry that I couldn't fix her hair and put it back. Sorry that her conscience didn't stop her from making the cut.
Five minutes after we talked it out, she was her happy smiling self again. I had trouble looking at her hair without getting teary for the rest of the night, and every time she noticed my expression she said again "I'm sorry I cut my hair, Mommy". "I know Megan, me too. I love you, Megan."
I am glad it was only hair, no permanent damage, she wasn't hurt and I know it will grow back. In a year or so.......
2 comments:
awe. that is sad and our DD has never tried it, but I did it as a kid.
Yeah...I did the same thing to my sister when she was little... except with her whole head...
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