A Time for Everything

Right now, I am sitting at the Dodge Dealer, waiting for my car to be fixed. It is a precious hour or two of captivity. I cannot go anywhere or do anything else. I have a three hour window of free internet access while I wait, and I am taking full advantage of it. Somehow there is time for everything.

Playing babies is a big activity in our house. Megan & Shanna switch  roles and enjoy playing all the time. Shanna particularly enjoys being a baby and it spills over into every day life. Life with Shanna is not always smooth. She has difficulty with her regulating her emotions, and while she is truly happy much of the time, as can be seen in her pictures, underneath is a very fragile little person, whose sunny outlook is peppered with a conflicted need to trust deeply and at the same time control at all costs. When pressured by a request, expectation or limit, by myself, Eric or her siblings, she often resists and with very little provocation can escalate the issue to monumental proportions, sometimes hurting herself, others or things. We have had to be really proactive and patient to head off meltdowns and understand the anxiety behind her behaviors. We think at the heart of it all is her horrifying fear that somehow we will disappear and her life will change again. We try to assure her in every way possible that she is safe and loved. Things are improving slowly and she is learning to regulate her emotions and reactions with our guidance and love. At school, she is totally engaged and happy. She is a hard worker and is learning so quickly. She can already read about 40 sight words and can write many sight words and use invented spelling. Her English language is awesome and incredible. We cannot believe the rate at which she has learned to communicate. She qualified for OT and PT services at school through a 504 plan and she LOVES all of her teachers and therapists. We made a picture schedule like Megan's to show what services she has which days and she checks it every night to see what's on the agenda the next day.

On Easter, Megan is enjoying her enormous turkey leg! She and Shanna each got one and finished every last morsel!

Easter Dinner

Hanging with Misty

Playing with the swing set box!

Shanna's friend from Shantou was brought home by her family in May. We sent these pictures along with the family to another friend who will be coming home in August or so.  Shanna has such a big family that she had to take 3 pages to fit us all in!

 

I really love how she has drawn all of our hair!!

Our nephew, Ian, lives in PA and is graduating this month. This is from the senior prom. He & Claire are on the far right, looking beautiful.

Ian & Claire

I went with Megan & Shanna to the Zoo on a school field trip.

In early spring, improvements were made to the bird house.

Shanna got a haircut.

She is very proud of it. We are trying to grow out some of the layers and give her a more girlish look. She would like it long like Megan.

Mother's Day, with all my kids. Love them so much!

Time to go to the 7th grade dance.

Time for hugs.

And more hugs.

 

And then about 2-3 weeks ago, we realized that Eric's mom was acutely ill. She had been through a series of radiation treatments on her cancer, and the radiation left her weak and unable to care for herself. We don't really know what happened, but for some reason her condition worsened to the point that neither she nor her husband could provide the care she needed. So late May, Eric & I made the decision that we would bring her to our home so that we could care for her. We moved our dining room furniture to our family room, and made our dining room into a room for her.

The girls see this as a grand adventure and have been so helpful in every way, getting Grandma settled. I found a wonderful mother's helper to come after school everyday and stay until dinner time. She helps with the girls, with household task and with dinner. I wish she could move in!!

It's turned into a comfortable spot for Marion and a gathering spot for the family.

The first morning I came downstairs to find Megan in bed with Gramma and helping her make her bed go up and down, and up and down, and up and down..... and helpfully showing her all the things out the window.

"C M O S T U" said Megan to Shanna.
"Do you  know what that spells, Shanna?"
"No, Megan. What it spells?"
"Blood Test!"......
Since we have had a parade of Hospice nurses and workers in and out of the house, Megan & Shanna have developed excellent doctor skills and a well stocked kit, supplied by the nurses. Gramma has had countless blood tests, temperature takings and medications supplied by these helpful young ladies, named Dr. Kim and Dr. Susie. Dr. Kim (Megan) informed us that boys cannot be doctors, so that's that! Gramma is an amazing trooper throughout all of this.

 

And in the meantime, Grandpa Tom is struggling as well. He has Parkinson's and has had trouble caring for his health needs, now that Marion is not home. We went to visit him where he is in a short term nursing care facility while he decides what is next for him. Megan and Shanna are checking out the bed to see if it works like Gramma's.

Marion & Tom, June 2011

June 2011

After two weeks of resting, Marion is doing much better. Her appetite is good, and her spirits are lifted by all the activity in the house. She is enjoying time with the kids and reading, and sewing. Her strength is limited, so we do what we can and she rests a lot. I am happy when she says she is bored, as I know that means she is doing pretty well. She has lots of visits from friends.

Marion's dog, Whisper

And we can't forget to mention Whisper, who joined us a few days after Marion did. She is a very sweet dog, who WORSHIPS the ground that Marion walks on. When they are separated, Whisper wanders the house looking for her. She sleeps under the blankets with Marion and I can't tell who is dog and who is woman.

Shanna & Ziggy the Piggy from Kindergarten

When we were matched with Shanna, her records indicated that she would turn 10 in March. We found this to be totally discrepant from what our observations and experience with her was. When we met her and saw her next to Megan, we saw two peas in a pod. They were on par in every way. So we started to question the validity of her birth date. She was initially placed into the 2nd grade, despite her chronological age fitting into 4th grade. Though she loved and was loved by her teacher and classmates, it became really clear that the concepts, not just the language were simply way over her head. We pursued assessments through the school in all areas (with an interpreter) and also consulted with our pediatrician and dentist. All results, including a bone age test, indicated that she was physically and emotionally functioning like a 6-7 year old girl. So we requested that she be moved to Kindergarten, like Megan, and began pursuing a change in her birth date. I contacted the adoption court in our city and was told what papers to fill out and submit. I did so, and a few weeks later her birthday was officially changed to May 30, 2004. So we celebrated Shanna's 7th birthday on Memorial Day. She was so thrilled to learn her birthday (she knew neither her age nor her birth date) and LOVED her birthday party with the cake and presents. On July 3rd, Megan will turn 7 too. And yes, now we really have Twins.

The boys helping get ready for Shanna's party.

Matthew's friend, Jess.

Shanna on her 7th birthday.

My nephew Alex and his friend, Hannah.

Aunt Sue & Shanna. I took other pictures with the cupboard closed, but none turned out as good as this one...so, too bad.

Happy Girls

 

Bubble Fun.

Matthew & Eric going to the Orchestra Banquet

When I read all of this, I honestly cannot believe how there is time for everything. I also cannot believe that 6 months have gone by since our trip to China to adopt Shanna. We took these pictures below for our 6 month post placement visit with our social worker, next Tuesday. They specifically want one picture with the whole family. It is so difficult to get everyone, in the same spot at the same time, clean, dressed, smiling...... you get the idea. It took several tries, and although a little blurry, this is the real thing: our family.