OMG, are we tired......

It is now 2:11am in Guangzhou, China. We feel that "elevator feeling" one gets when utter exhaustion sets in. We have made it to the Victory Hotel. Flight was delayed an hour, apparently due to the Asian Games and control of flight space somehow, but at least we didn't lose any luggage, unlike the family checking in at the same time as us. I happen to already know them as we "met" virtually a few months ago and have been in the same adoption yahoo groups. Hopefully, they will find their luggage soon.  We have a suite and a room, which are quite nice, but a minor issue that there were not quite enough beds- only two total for 6. We managed to fix the situation for Matthew to sleep on an extra cot, and the rest of us to share in the two remaining beds. We will figure out the rest tomorrow. We are all in good spirits, had our Pop Tart pick me up and are off to sleep.

 

Linda, who can't wait to close her eyes!

So far, so good

In Beijing waiting to board flight to Guangzhou. We are happy and very, very tired. In about four hours we will arrive in Guangzhou. Can't wait to see the bed.
Linda, posting from Eric's phone.

Happy Thanksgiving

November 1995

November 1995

This is the first Thanksgiving in 15 years that we are not at my brother's family home in GA. Were are sad to miss our annual tradition, but at least it is because of a joyful reason. We are looking forward to a Skype conversation later this afternoon  and a delicious dinner at Eric's parents', then a wild evening of packing up. 

Wishing all of you a very
Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving Holiday.Picture by Megan

Keeping a Sense of Humor

Well, yesterday I posted about the effects of the Big Change on Megan. And I prayed for patience as she tests me on all kinds of issues. Well, there was a BIG test today. I was getting her ready to play at my neighbor's, and combing her hair into a pony, as usual, when I discovered a significant portion of her bangs were gone. Yes, I said GONE. As in NOT THERE!!  Huh. Oh, I thought, she cut them herself. Again. Right to the scalp. Well, okay, about 3/4" left. Huh. She had done that one year ago and they were STILL growing out. Almost, but not quite fitting behind her ear. Now they are gone again.

All of these thoughts happened in a flash of a few seconds, meanwhile the anger and sadness welled up inside me. I knew that my reaction would be important and that Megan would detach from her feelings of shame if I got angry and hollered. She knew I was not happy. I took her by the hand and led her to the bed and told her to sit, that I was very upset and I needed a time out for myself before I could talk to her. I went in the other room and quietly, but passionately, let my feelings out to the other kids. After I pulled myself back together, I went back to her. By then my anger had been replaced by sadness and disappointment. She knew. She said a hundred times she was sorry. I was sorry, too. Sorry that with all my things to do that she had the time and means to accomplish that task of cutting her bangs. Sorry that her little heart is confused and trying to establish a sense of control. Sorry that I couldn't fix her hair and put it back. Sorry that her conscience didn't stop her from making the cut.

Five minutes after we talked it out, she was her happy smiling self again. I had trouble looking at her hair without getting teary for the rest of the night, and every time she noticed my expression she said again "I'm sorry I cut my hair, Mommy". "I know Megan, me too. I love you, Megan."

I am glad it was only hair, no permanent damage, she wasn't hurt and I know it will grow back. In a year or so.......

The Final Countdown and The Big Change

There  are only four links left on the chain that Matthew and Megan made to countdown the days. They take one off each night at bedtime. When there is one left, we are going to China the next morning. Well, there are only Four. Links. Left. That's it.

Packing gifts, food, medicines, toys

Counting down to China

For me, today will be the last day that I spend alone, for a long time. The kids have no school on Wednesday, and Thursday, and Friday we leave. After we come home, Shanna will be with me each day until she enters school, whenever that is. Acutely aware of the precious moments left to accomplish the tasks that need complete concentration, I mourn the fact that I made a hair appointment this morning right in the middle of my last minutes of free time!! What was I thinking?

The Big Change is resonating with Megan, as well. Although, outwardly, she is so excited about meeting her sister and expresses nothing but love for her, I have noticed regressive changes in her behavior that tell me she is feeling nervous and unsure. She is waking in the middle of the night and coming to me for reassurance. She is getting into everything, like when she first came home, taking things that don't belong to her, and detaching from the present when I redirect her. I'm sure in part, it's because I am busy preparing and bustling around and I think it will be better once I have all my packing done and we are actually on our way. But then it will be different for her in another way, after the real Shanna makes her appearance. I am trying to stop and hold her when I see her needing me, and I pray for patience and awareness during these next few weeks, that I can ease this transition for Megan. Let her know that I am her mommy, no matter what.

But the change is no greater for any of us than Shanna, who will soon leave everything familiar for everything not. I cannot imagine the mix of feelings she must be having. She must leave her home and friends, knowing she will not return. I am just trying to imagine how I would feel, if I were told I had to make a change like that, just one day walk away from the life I had, even with assurances that opportunities would be better for me on the other side. No matter what, that is her life and the one she knows. I think she is happy to be adopted, and she seems to always be smiling and happy, so I have no doubt that she will transition well. I just know it will be difficult and painful and again, I pray for patience and strength as we help her work through the process of growing to love us and her new life.

Shanna at Shantou SWI with her friends (2nd from end on left)

Folding the laundry

Eating a meal at Shantou SWI

Kids & nannies at Shantou SWI

100 Wishes Quilt

To welcome and celebrate a new life, there is a tradition in China to make a Bai Jia Bei, or 100 Wishes Quilt. It is a custom to invite friends and family to contribute a piece of fabric with a wish for the baby. Some of the fabric goes into the quilt for the baby, and a small piece goes into a memory book with the wish for the child. The quilt contains the luck, energy, and good wishes from all the families and friends who contributed a piece of fabric. The quilt is then passed down from generation to generation. 

We collected these squares before we traveled to adopt Megan, and this summer Mary Alice and I cut and sewed them all together. We added some solid squares, which gave us enough fabric to make two matching quilts, one for Megan and one for Shanna. Eric's mother then quilted and backed them. Mary Alice suggested we add a red thread around the edge. There is an ancient Chinese belief which states that there is an invisible red thread that connects each of us to all of the individuals who have been, currently are, and will in the future be important to us in our lives. This red thread can stretch, twist, and bend… but will never break. Marion added a bow in the corner to represent the adoption. 

A Wonderful Birthday Gift

Linda, about 6 months old, 1968

I will celebrate my 43rd birthday in a very special way. On November 29th our family will  be in China, meeting our nine year old daughter, Shan AnShuang. To say we are all excited is such an understatement.  The truth is; my brain is mush. We just found out Monday that our official Notice of Coming to China, or Travel Approval (TA) was received by our agency. We found out Tuesday that our Consulate Appointment was confirmed for 12/8, which means we are leaving for China NEXT WEEK!!! Friday, 11/26!!!! and arriving in Guangzhou on 11/27. We will have one day to rest from jet lag (Eric's good idea) and then meet Shanna on Monday. Our family of 5, plus Gramma Marion are all going.

Here is a map of China. Guangzhou is in the South, near Hong Kong. We fly from Newark to Beijing, then to Guangzhou (pronouced Gwan-joe). For those of you who followed Megan's adoption in 2008, we traveled then to Shenyang, in the Northeast, by North Korea.

View Larger Map

I think Shanna will be brought to Guangzhou on Sunday, as it is about a 6 hour drive by van. She lives in Shantou.

View Larger Map

Can you imagine her feelings right now??

Hope, apprehension, wonder, fear, excitement, confusion, curiosity.

Everything we are feeling and more.

Because my last letter to her was in September, I wanted to connect with her one more time before we arrive, so that she has happy thoughts in her mind as she travels that long van ride, so I sent her a cake and a translated letter, through a package service in China, called Ladybugsnlove. 

Here is what I wrote:

Dear AnShaung,

We are all coming to China soon; mom, dad, older brother, older sister, younger sister and grandmother and we are so excited to meet you. Your younger sister is especially happy to share her room. 

We have everything all ready for you. It won’t be long, now. We are hoping that we will be there by the end of November.

We are sending you a cake to share with your friends and celebrate your life together. By giving this party to them, you can thank all of your friends and nannies for the good care and love you received from them.

We will see you soon. 

Love, Mama

So what next?? Well, I have a list a mile long. I was feeling so ready, and now!! Well, NOW I have to kick into high gear. Even though my brain is mush. Labor has begun.......stay tuned!!

I Just Love My Girls

Just sitting here with dinner ready to serve, but delaying it a bit as the girls are in the basement playing dolls. I can hear them laughing and talking, and singing a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday". I just love my girls and can't wait until there is one more.

October Activities

Gosh, things are busy here. We go from one activity to the next, with never a dull moment, and in between it all, I am constantly thinking about Shanna, how she is, what she is doing, what she is thinking, how she would fit in to each and every activity that we do, and of course, when will we meet her! I am pricing tickets to China on a daily basis, praying that the prices will not go up too much, as we cannot purchase our tickets until we have our official Travel Approval from the Chinese Government and our Consulate Appointment date to get her visa.

I am pretty sure that we will get our approval soon, in time for travel right after Thanksgiving.

These are the cutest little pumpkins that Mary Alice made.

Snuggle and Reading Time

This is a recent photo of Sophia (Bao Bao), Megan's dear friend from Chaoyang. Sofia is now 5 years old, and showing off her new room!

Megan & Madeline, her friend from the bus!

 

I have no idea why this video has music.

Somehow Youtube added it and I don't know how to get rid of it! :)

Megan at Madeline's Birthday Party

Megan and Mary Florence- her friend from Soccer!

Way to go, Alex (nephew). Graduation from College!

3 Generations

Happy Birthday, Mary Alice!

Last week we celebrated Mary Alice's 12th birthday. Time flies so fast.

Abby (left) and Mary Alice (right) in 2002, age 3

The Beautiful Birthday Girl Now!

She had a small party with a few close friends and had a separate sleepover with her best buddies from church. She had a good time with all. Here are some highlights. Unfortunately, I missed out on taking photos from the sleepover. Too bad, but maybe next time.

Gorgeous Girlfriends

Winking Girls

Creations: The Rock Family

Iron on Beads

Requires time and patience to do

Cake made by Mom

Special Cake from Dr. Chen. It says "Happy Birthday" in Chinese!